Beep, beep, beep......
Beep, beep, beep....I interrupt this 12 photos of christmas broadcast for something WAY MORE IMPORTANT!!!!
so while everyone around me has been posting on facebook about the recent tragedy in Newtown, I have held my tongue and kept my true feelings about it all to myself. I've been glued to the news and searched for endless hours on the internet......WHY???? that's right.....I just want to know WHY??? I am one of those people who need closure, right or wrong, I need to know why people make the choices they do....I'm still waiting for that piece of evidence that will "paint the picture" of how and why things happened the way they did.....I believe, there is always a reason.....
Normally, I'm not a major news watcher. I watch a little in the morning to see the weather and traffic but tend to turn off the TV when things get sad....don't want my girls to see how scary the world can be......
BUT today hit me HARD!!!!! First of all, my sweet big girl is a first grader.....and when her Daddy came home on Friday with tears in his eyes.....I cried in secret. You just think, you never really know when they walk away from you if it will be the last time you ever see them. So today, I told her I loved her and kissed her 2 times before I watched her walk all the way to her classroom. Today, I didn't fuss at her when she wasn't moving as quickly as I wanted her to. And today, I asked her about every detail of her day when she came back to me after school. Today I learned that I have to be a better parent.....put down my phone, put down my computer, and live in the moment with my babies because you never know when that moment will be gone.
Today I learned that I'm not nearly as strong as I thought I was. As teachers we are all trained to handle "intruder/lockdown" situations. Today on my campus, we had a lockdown drill (as I am sure lots of schools did). Today I sat in a completely dark storage closet in my library while someone entered my room and jiggled the handle to my hiding spot. I swear, I knew it was a drill but I held my breath and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest when I heard someone enter my library. How did those women do it?????? Today I sat on the floor in complete dark and all I could think of, was how scared Rheagan might be. In a real lockdown I don't think I could ever sit in that closet and not know how my baby was doing just down the hall from me....
Today, I'm praying for those sweet babies in Newtown and for mine. Today, I'm praying for strength. Today, I hugged my girls tighter. Tomorrow, I'll do the same.........
so while everyone around me has been posting on facebook about the recent tragedy in Newtown, I have held my tongue and kept my true feelings about it all to myself. I've been glued to the news and searched for endless hours on the internet......WHY???? that's right.....I just want to know WHY??? I am one of those people who need closure, right or wrong, I need to know why people make the choices they do....I'm still waiting for that piece of evidence that will "paint the picture" of how and why things happened the way they did.....I believe, there is always a reason.....
Normally, I'm not a major news watcher. I watch a little in the morning to see the weather and traffic but tend to turn off the TV when things get sad....don't want my girls to see how scary the world can be......
BUT today hit me HARD!!!!! First of all, my sweet big girl is a first grader.....and when her Daddy came home on Friday with tears in his eyes.....I cried in secret. You just think, you never really know when they walk away from you if it will be the last time you ever see them. So today, I told her I loved her and kissed her 2 times before I watched her walk all the way to her classroom. Today, I didn't fuss at her when she wasn't moving as quickly as I wanted her to. And today, I asked her about every detail of her day when she came back to me after school. Today I learned that I have to be a better parent.....put down my phone, put down my computer, and live in the moment with my babies because you never know when that moment will be gone.
Today I learned that I'm not nearly as strong as I thought I was. As teachers we are all trained to handle "intruder/lockdown" situations. Today on my campus, we had a lockdown drill (as I am sure lots of schools did). Today I sat in a completely dark storage closet in my library while someone entered my room and jiggled the handle to my hiding spot. I swear, I knew it was a drill but I held my breath and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest when I heard someone enter my library. How did those women do it?????? Today I sat on the floor in complete dark and all I could think of, was how scared Rheagan might be. In a real lockdown I don't think I could ever sit in that closet and not know how my baby was doing just down the hall from me....
Today, I'm praying for those sweet babies in Newtown and for mine. Today, I'm praying for strength. Today, I hugged my girls tighter. Tomorrow, I'll do the same.........
This is really hard...I sat on my bed on friday and cried thinking of how terrified those little babies must have been. It just doesn't make any sense.
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